Moment 19

I just spent 5 days in Wisconsin visiting my parents and long time friends.  The above picture is the sunrise from my parents deck and it literally made me gasp when I saw it on the last day I was there.  What a fitting send-off, a reminder that this place where I grew up holds such beauty.  It also holds much sadness these days.  I will never return without thinking of my best childhood friend that I lost almost 3 years ago.  The memories are there but the present moment, without her, is not what I imagined.  I am realizing that there is a lot in life that is not what I imagined.  I didn't imagine that I wouldn't see my parents nearly enough and that they wouldn't know my children in the way that I had hoped.  I didn't imagine that my health would be anything but stellar at the "young" age of 38 and I didn't imagine that my heart would break so much having the ones I love spread so far apart.  Oh, but wait, this blog is for Grateful Moments so let me just say that even though there are struggles that I never imagined there are also joys that I couldn't have planned.  And when I fall into the arms of my parents when I come home to Wisconsin and when my children fall into my arms when I return home to California I am reminded how grateful I am to have two homes, no matter how far apart.

Moment 18

This cute little Dolphin pillow pet taught me a lesson....See we were at the store and my 7 yr. old picked him up and wanted to add him to his Christmas list.  I saw the moose one and pointed out how cool that one was and we checked the name and it was, "Chocolate Moose"...come on, that's so clever, anyway, my 7 yr. old then said he couldn't decide which one he wanted so he would let Santa choose.  The next day Santa I went back to the store and guess which one I bought??  The Moose.  I have to admit I was worried that the dolphin one was more "girlie" and yes, I want to smack myself for saying that and thinking that.  I also just liked the Moose better, remember that clever name....anyway, as soon as I was almost home it started to bother me.  I bought the one I wanted and for an underlying closed minded reason and I was so ashamed.  So, you guessed it (you did, right?) the next day I went back and returned the Chocolate Moose and bought the Darling Dolphin and I can't wait to see his happy face when he gets the one that HE wants on Christmas.

Moment 17

My 7 yr. is going to be in a play.  They type of play that is on a big stage at a nice theater with seating, lighting, sound, the whole shebang!!  I am so amazed and proud of his courage.  He's not a super precocious kid, he's actually rather shy, but he is dramatic and creative and he has wanted to be a singer or actor since he was 3 yrs. old.  Okay, there was a phase when he wanted to be an architect by day and singer/actor at night but he quickly realized that (the night gig would be shady) 2 jobs was too much so now he is back to acting and singing.  Today when I picked him up from rehearsal he was beaming.  "Mom, they only gave out 3 Starbucks gift cards tonight to the people that were doing the best and I got one!!!!"  Yep, pretty much teared up in the dark Porche mini-van because hearing him so happy and watching him be so brave just turns me to mush.  So many times I am reminded about what it means to have your heart walk outside your body.  Without a doubt today's grateful moment was when be bounded into the mini-van with such pride in his sweet little boy voice.

Moment 16

Today was a doozie....Horrible head cold, trying to quit caffeine, cramps (TMI...sorry, but it's relevant;)...UGH...let's just say I was not working with a full deck!!!  Because of my personal circumstances I completely had the wrong time in mind for my son's basketball practice and I missed it; he was SOOOO upset....double UGH.  We went home and to make it up to him I said we could play outside even though it was getting dark and cold.  My 4 yr. old and I were playing hockey in the street and my 7 yr old walked up right when I took a goal shot (pretty good shot if I say so myself)...and....I hit him in the face with the stick.  Yep, this day just kept going from bad to worse.  Let's just say it was hard to find a grateful moment today, but this blog is not about craptitude (just made that up)....it's about gratitude.  Because I didn't want it to end on a bad note I made chocolate chip cookies...from scratch even....and they were delicious.  So my grateful moment was right at the end when we all sat around the table eating warm cookies with our cold milk and laughing (a little) at our crazy day.

Moment 15

I joined my town's Art League (more on that later) and tonight at the monthly meeting a representative from Golden Paints did a 2 hour demo of a ton of their products....it kind of blew my mind!!  We were also given a little goodie bag of samples to go home with, so tonight I am grateful for Golden Paints!!

Moment 14

I must toot my own horn today because even though I am coming down with a wicked cold I somehow managed to plan and prepare a delicious manicotti BEFORE dinner time.  I can be a great cook and do enjoy cooking but my major issue is planning and organizing....I like to say that is due to my ADD the prominent creative right side brain that I have...so usually 10 minutes before I need to start dinner I still have no idea what I am going to do.  But not today, oh no, today I started my manicotti at 2:00 and had it in the fridge ready to go in the oven right after we returned from basketball practice.  So today I am grateful for my planning skills....and yes, I just wrote a whole post about manicotti, did I mention I was coming down with a cold?

Moment 13

Oh how I loved watching Football with my dad on Sundays so seeing my kids starting to enjoy the tradition is so sweet.  I am grateful for Sunday Football (except when the Cowboys lose, then we all hide from my husband for the rest of the day ;)!!!

Moment 12

We woke up to a gray sky and puddles left over from a mid-night rain.  Within the first hour of morning the rain began to gently fall and although I love an occasional rainy day I was sad that my boys' last soccer games would be canceled....that's no way to end a season.  As I checked and rechecked my E-mail I finally noticed an E-mail that the game was ON...so we scurried to get my oldest to his 8 am game.  I was especially excited that his team was able to play their last game as this season held some life lessons as they watched a player lose his mom to cancer and then move away.  My husband told me that just as the rain came down sporadically so did the arrival of the players and as each one came running the team would cheer at the teammate "sighting".  Watching this team play tough and with heart during their last game was a perfect metaphor for the season as a whole.  So today I am grateful for a great 2011 soccer season.

Moment 11

As the wind turns crisp and the nights bring an extra layer of blankets there are still signs of summer hanging on.  Today I was struck by this lone lily in full bloom and I thought of my mom.  She's a tough one with a sturdy stem, just like this beautiful lily.  The last few years have not been easy on her and she's been beat down far too many times.  But she still blooms and holds on while the brisk wind whips her around and she teaches me time and time again that it's okay to wilt occasionally and take a rest but come spring you better stand tall and strong and show your beautiful colors for as long as you can.  Today I am more than grateful for my mom....my hero.

Moment 10

Today I am grateful that my gym membership was still active because let's just say that it's been awhile.  Oh, and I'm grateful that I was actually able to still run a little bit and in all seriousness I am grateful for how exercise makes me feel!!!

Moment 9

Some days I feel so restless and I just don't know what to do with kids....yes, that's coming from someone who has worked with and played with kids her whole life.....but it's different when they are your own.  It's also just my nature to be completely unorganized and unplanned and at times that causes my anxiousness, but other times it leaves me open for spontaneity and delight.  So today as the panic started to set in I said, "Hey kids, let's go to the park," and although that doesn't seem like an extremely creative idea, it was a brilliant one.  The air was crisp and the sun was shining and we just let go and had fun!!!  So today I am grateful for spontaneous ideas that work out perfectly.

Moment 8

One year ago today in Ethiopia we held our baby girl for the very first time.  She looked at me and then looked at my husband and then gave us a huge smile.  To say that it was love at first sight is truly an understatement.  She was and still is so beautiful, sweet and happy.  She is our daughter....a dream come true and I am forever grateful for this day one year ago.

Moment 7

Today I am grateful for....naps...and the sweet dreams that they bring.

Moment 6

An art course is a funny thing....It not only challenges you to grow as an artist but to also grow as a person.  Our instructor, Flora Bowley, was inspiring, approachable, funny and wise and even though she says her intention in her art is to have fun and get all the colorful images out of her head and onto a canvas I think maybe her teaching journey is to impart valuable life lessons to others and to send the positive energy she creates into the universe.  She asked us to make a positive intention or affirmation and write it down as a reminder to reference as we worked on our paintings.  The idea was to take something you may be struggling with and turn it around to be something that you are accomplishing.  So I chose, "I Am Growing," because I so often want to be at the finish line.....whereever that is.  I want to be a seasoned artist with my own identity.  I want to "know everything".  I want to be "the best"...blah, blah, blah.  These are the voices that many of us deal with and it is hard to be patient and it is hard to be the student, especially when you are used to being the teacher, So I am working on reminding myself that "I Am Growing," and there is time and that it is okay to not know everything.  Today's grateful moment was meeting Flora Bowley and continuing to grow.

Moment 5

I took my first "in person" art course this weekend.  I have taken some on-line courses, but this was the first one, since high school, that I attended with a "live" teacher and other participants.  I drove to Malibu super early on Saturday morning and I was so nervous and excited that I woke up at 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep.  As I drove up to the art lodge at the top of a hill the above picture was the view.  The lodge was lined with windows and there were picnic tables outside where we sat and ate our lunches and took in this same view.  So my grateful moment was being in such a stunning location as I stretched my physical and creative body during this amazing weekend.

Moment 4

Today wasn't an easy day.  I loved the rainy weather but I was feeling off and just like that the calm in my heart was gone.....so hard to hang on to when your body lets you down.  I am going to an art retreat tomorrow that I have been waiting for since July but like so much in life there is a trade off and I am missing a very important celebration for some very important friends.  Tomorrow they celebrate the finalized adoption of their beautiful son and it was quite a roller coater as is the nature of our faulty foster care system here in the US.  Because I can't be there I wanted SO much to give this gift I had in mind and I couldn't find it and let's just say it was not helping my rainy mood.  Then I recieved these magical texts from my wonderful husband, "Found it" and "Got it".  He called around and drove in the rain on his lunch break to get it and although it didn't make my body feel better it sure did heal a piece of my heart...and that's what he does for me...all the time.  So today I am grateful for my caring, thoughtful, most wonderful husband.

Moment 3

Today my little girl and I took a walk.  Although I miss the chill in the air that whispers of fall, I must say that the warmth of the California sun felt good today.  For the first time in a long time I felt calm.  So I let my sweet girl lead me around the neighborhood and I didn't think about the endless list of "To Dos" that will always be there, instead I just took in the sounds of the birds and the flowers still in bloom and the smile on my daughter's face.  Today I am grateful for the calm in my heart and that soft little hand in mine.

Moment 2

Today as I watched my boys scatter rose pedals in the lake at my 7 yr old friend's mom's memorial I was grateful....to be surrounded by such beauty and truth....to be present at a moment of pain and peace and to watch my boys act as brothers as they sat quietly and listened to the stories of this woman, this mom, who felt blessed to have the time she had.  I am grateful for one more day with the people I love.

Moment 1

Today's grateful moment is from my birthday lunch with my beautiful friends.  One of my beautiful friends gave me this gorgeous, glowing homemade cake, but most importantly, my friends give me the strength, love and laughter I need to keep going and enjoy the journey!!!

I am starting this Grateful Moment blog because my wish before blowing out those candles was to spend this year not complaining, not wishing for what I don't have, but being grateful for the moments no matter how big or how small.  So, I will post 1 picture for each day (hopefully) and just a few words about the meaning to keep a record, if you will, of all that I am grateful for.

I am so hopeful for this year....let's go 38!!!!!